IS THIS FOR REALZ???

Posted on January 7th, 2008 by Stamps.
Categories: RUBBER STAMPS.

 Need a laugh at the office… well this guy got one… dude is a genius!!!

LIKE WICKIPEDIA… BUT NOT!

  

Mark Zuckerberg

From Dickipedia - A Wiki of Dicks

Mark Elliot Zuckerberg (born May 14, 1984) is an American computer programmer, college dropout, Internet entrepreneur and a dick.In 2004, he created the social networking website Facebook, becoming a celebrity to college students nationwide. Since that time, Zuckerberg has been on the fast track toward dickhood, culminating in his achieving full-fledged dick status in late 2007, though many argue that he has actually been a dick the entire time.

Contents [hide] 1 Youth 2 Harvard 3 Rise in Popularity 4 Mark Zuckerberg is stealing your idea for Facebook 5 Facebook’s Descent from Cool 6 Privacy 7 Comparisons to Tom 8 External Links

Youth

Mark Zuckerberg grew up in Westchester County, New York, with the most hilariously stereotypical name of anyone to have ever grown up there. He spent his formative years learning computers and cultivating a personal look known as “ugly Shia LaBeouf.”

In the grand dick tradition that has been passed on for hundreds of years, Zuckerberg attended both Phillips Exeter Academy and Harvard University, a combination which boasts a 97.5% total-dick graduation rate towards advanced degrees in “General Entitlement” as well as “Being an Asshole.”

Harvard

While at Harvard, Zuckerberg, hoping to boost his dick status, joined a fraternity. It is unclear whether the fact that it was a Jewish fraternity makes this decision more or less dickish. His first web project was called “Coursematch,” which allowed users to stalk other people in their classes. He soon combined his computer knowledge with his newfound frat lifestyle by founding “Facemash,” a Harvard version of the “Hot or Not” photograph rating website. (Outside observers have noted that a more appropriate name for such a Web site at Harvard University would have been simply: “Not.”)

Rise in Popularity

In 2004, Zuckerberg debuted a primitive online social networking site called Facebook, named for the annual publication collegiate upper classmen use to identify attractive freshmen girls with low self-esteem. At the time, Zukerberg planned to offer the service only to students within the Ivy League, because, as is widely known, Ivy League students have long had problems finding ways to network with one another.

As Facebook spread, Zuckerberg became an internet sensation. College students nationwide began to capitalize on the ability to catalogue pictures of themselves doing keg stands, and to find out the relationship status of people they wanted to have casual sex with.

In 2006, Yahoo! executives offered to purchase Facebook for $1 billion. Zuckerberg, then in his early 20s, turned the offer down, instead selling a small portion of the company to Microsoft for a mere $240 million dollars, which suggests an overall company value of $15 billion. Many young people might, based on those reasons alone, label Zuckerberg a dick. Zuckerberg is actually a dick for several other, more legitimate reasons.

One of those reasons is that he handed out business cards reading: “I’m CEO…bitch.” (This is not made up. He actually did this.)

Zuckerberg has also often been seen wearing fleece jackets at corporate events. While in the Silicon Valley business community this made him appear “hip” and “innovative,” among his peers it makes him appear like “a tool.”

Mark Zuckerberg is stealing your idea for Facebook

In 2003, a group of students from a separate entrepreneurial endeavor called ConnectU approached Zuckerberg to finish some coding. Several months later, Zuckerberg dropped their project for a new one of his creation, called Facebook. Zuckerberg’s new site was completely different from ConnectU, except for its premise, target audience, uses, business model, and source code. The ConnectU creators filed suit against Zuckerberg. However, the case must be examined with a critical eye because, as this photograph shows, what the plaintiffs lack in dickishness, they appear to make up for in douchebaggitude. In spades.

Aaron Greenspan, Zuckerberg’s Harvard classmate, claims he invented the system before either of the lawsuit participants. He has real evidence, but because he seems quiet and is neither a dick nor a douchebag, no one seems to be paying him any attention.

Facebook’s Descent from Cool

Zuckerberg took his first step towards destroying Facebook when he opened the service to high school students and, later, to sleazy people worldwide.

In 2006, Zuckerberg unveiled the “News Feed,” a low-energy stalking utility that allows users to track their “friends’” activities. Hundreds of thousands of people signed petitions to remove the “News Feed.” Zuckerberg apologized and promised to increase privacy settings. He sort of did.

In 2007, Facebook’s hipness suffered a near-fatal blow when your father asked you if he should set up a profile to help his business. Even though you were able convince him not to, a little piece of you died.

Soon after, Zuckerberg opened up the platform for development by third parties (aka companies/corporations). Still unsatisfied with a company worth $15 billion and newly developed avenues for massive revenue, Zuckerberg went from being “the man” to becoming an “Orwellian mega-dick” by introducing the “Beacon,” a system that allowed users’ purchasing information from outside sites to be published on Facebook. Zuckerberg announced that information would not be sent if users didn’t “opt-in.” This later turned out to be a spurious claim and completed Zuckerberg’s evolution into a special kind of dick.

The Beacon program was so controversial that even MoveOn.org managed to organize a major online petition against it. (It is worth noting the heightened level of dickish behavior required for MoveOn.org to turn its attention away from an “unjust war” to a Web site with a feature to “poke” someone.)

Privacy

After a Harvard alumni magazine published unflattering documents about Zuckerberg in an article examining ConnectU, he took the magazine to court in order to get the documents removed, supporting Zuckerberg’s position as a proponent of the free spread of information so long as there is a chance it will help him make a billion dollars.

Comparisons to Tom

Many people are quick to compare Zuckerberg to Myspace president Tom Anderson. It is worth noting that while everyone on Myspace is Tom’s friend, no one on Facebook is Mark’s friend. This is because the latter is a dick.